Apologies

I keep finding myself saying "I'm sorry." I think it's starting to get on people's nerves.

But I am sorry - for not being strong enough to keep going when I'm feeling low; for burdening everyone with my mood swings; for lying and saying "I'm ok" when I really don't feel it; for losing my temper when you don't deserve it; for interfering after saying I wouldn't; for not being there for you when you need me; for not being able to look after you when you're ill; for not knowing what to do or say to make you feel better; for not having the courage to do what needs to be done; and, most of all, for not being the person you deserve.

And now that's out of the way, I suppose I better get on with doing things I've been putting off.

$%&* and other such swear words

In my son's words, "We're very upset because some naughty people have stealed Daddy's brand new bike he got yesterday."

Looks like they climbed over the top of the wall after failing to break down the gate. Of course it wasn't chained to anything - there's nothing to chain it to - the other bikes have been fine there for ages under the tarpaulin. It might have been a random theft with very unlucky timing or....he was seen putting it in the yard and it was a targeted theft. Which means even if it had been chained up it probably still would have been nicked.

We've had tears, self-recrimination, frustration and annoyance at the world as a whole. I think I'm starting to get over it and plan how to take better care of the next bike. But then it wasn't my 30th birthday present.

Socialization Week

Or something, anyway. Crazy snowy weather meant the friend who was supposed to be coming to stay on Tuesday arrived late Wednesday instead - so the first real event of the week was a Tangency meet-up on Wednesday lunch time. We mostly sat in a pub and I had lunch with people I'd just met while Daddy went to pick up the Terror. I coped surprisingly well. Thursday was town again for comics (Scott Pilgrim 5!) and to show guest around York a little bit. And much chatting and some playing of Carcassonne. Friday was more random chat with guest, then meal out with Nana, then T&C round for wine and something - we settled on watching first series of Black Books which I don't think I'd actually seen any of and was fantastic. Probably drank too much wine though.

Today, Daddy was even more ill than he had been all week, but bravely stayed at a child's birthday party with me, as we watched a bunch of five-year-olds get more and more hyper and then watch them stuff themselves with food and cake. It was quite scary. So by afternoon we were both shattered and fell asleep while T was watching Wall-E with the Terror. J came round and took the Terror for a bit so we could go and get Daddy's birthday present early. He got a nice shiny new bike, as old one was old, heavy, and needs chain replacing before can be used again. Hopefully this means he can go back to taking Terror to school on their bikes (we have a tow-bar thing). Then it was the usual weekend stuff of trying to get housework done while entertaining the Terror and putting up with friends being huffy at each other or just plain obstinate, and trying not to interfere.

Tomorrow we have board games with people from Daddy's work. That should be fun. If the Terror, and other children, behave themselves.