I saw a glimpse of a possible future once, and for a while I was happy.
And then when I realised that was just a fantasy my heart broke all over again but I still can't let it go. The fantasies have always been more compelling than reality - how could they not be? - and this one seemed so close, so modest, so achievable. But that's all it is, a fantasy, and I have to try and face reality again without it.
No wonder I can't stop crying.
And I can't just turn off the feelings, and I probably could try and do things differently, but maybe it will be enough to just cling on to this one truth, that all it ever was was an impossible future, like so many others I don't mourn because I never believe in them.
