Saturday, May 18, 2013

Not the blog post you're looking for

Well, it's certainly not the blog post I've been trying to write for the past two weeks - that one was about larp and how cool it is now I have keen.

This? This is me actually having the time, energy, and wine to do a quick and long-overdue update on how my Seven Things are going.

In brief - badly.

I haven't picked up the violin in months.
Family Game Afternoon died quietly while we were busy doing other things.
I've had an increase in frequency of nerve failure, mostly related to phones, but also in relation to actually just getting on and doing things.
I've made no arrangements for holidays, savings accounts or buying fish fingers.
The depression really has been driving me back inside myself. Sometimes I forget and post on Twitter. I haven't even been reading most of the things in my RSS subscriptions, let alone sharing and commenting on them. I barely interact with my son. I barely talk to friends even when they're there. I'm not sure how long this current slump has been going on, but I know it's bad - I've hit the "can't be bothered to read books" stage which is never a good sign.

Thing is, I don't want to have to go back to my GP and discuss medicine dosages and the like. I've been here so so many times in the past and I don't really know what's helped turn things around: mostly just time and a concerted effort to drag myself through it without sinking any lower. I'm not sure it's strictly true that every time it gets a bit easier, but the trend is definitely towards shorter periods of existential apathy and much quicker recovery periods.

So, step one of the process: stop calling myself lazy. I have done housework today - not everything but some. It's ok that other people help. And while it would be nice to write another blog post before next weekend, it's ok if I don't. I can always prattle about the GEF afterwards.

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