Busy Busy Busy

Or How This Is The Week Of Stress It Is.

Daddy has been very busy at work, a phrase that means nothing to the Terror when he wants to go visit him or wonders why he isn't home yet. So while this means work-stress for Daddy and long days in the office, I've had to cope with a tired and grumpy child on my own for longer than usual, leading to a tired and grumpy Mummy too. Especially as it's "that time of the month" which may or may not be the reason for my general low mood and crying fits. Other thing have been stressing me out, but somehow or other I finally got to the doctor and got more I Feel Fantastic pills, and have got some card and glitter-glue for the Terror's costume for his school Christmas play. I think I'll wait for someone with some artistic ability to draw and help cut out a snowflake then I can hunt for an old white t-shirt to sew it to. If I try it myself it'll just look awful.

Other problems I've decided are other peoples problems and thus will not bother worrying about. Things seemed to have settled down anyway between friends, money issues can be sorted out in the new year if necessary. And some things are just beyond my ability to do anything about.

My mother has breast cancer. Again. We have a family history and she recovered well after the first diagnosis a few years ago but only opted for a partial mastectomy at the time. After discovering she is carrying the BRCA2 gene, she was considering further prophylactic surgery, but in the meantime another tumour was found in the other breast. The good news is that it is a second separate occurrence of the disease, rather than the original having spread, and rationally speaking her prospects are good. But of course I worry. Not least because I can do little to help in practical terms and find it hard to tell her how much I love and admire her. She's borne her sufferings quietly, with no fuss and great dignity. She's gone into hospital today for the operation. I'm trying not to worry too much.

One consequence of this that does require action on my part is that I now know I have a 50-50 chance of having the BRCA2 gene myself. After putting it off for too long, I finally told my GP and asked to be referred to a geneticist. I still don't know if I want to be tested, but that's why they offer counseling. Now younger women at high risk are offered MRI scans which means earlier screening is a possibility instead of waiting (as mammography is largely ineffectual in under-40s). And of course I may not have the gene, which would vastly decrease my chances of getting breast cancer while not totally ruling it out. So it's certainly to be considered, and I'm glad to have finally done something about it.

Now I just have to pluck up the courage for a smear test. And remember to get my repeat prescription before I run out...