Motivation-less

Everything seems to take much longer than it ought to. It took three or four times of thinking "I should get out of the bath now" before i actually managed to make myself move. Got dressed, after lying on bed for a bit. Ate breakfast and felt much better for a bit, but then decided it was work time and all the energy left me again.

I was actually looking forward to relearning some maths, but now I can't concentrate on it at all and can barely keep my head up. I don't feel sleepy, or tired, I just want to lie down with my eyes closed and not think about anything. Even typing this seems like too much effort to be worth it, and I keep stopping and starting.

A walk to the shop might do me good and count as "useful" - being outside and getting exercise are what I'm supposed to do. But the temptation to stuff my face with chocolate might be too much. I know I'm not hungry, but I want to eat. Eat and sleep and nothing else. But of course I have do other things. I have a family, a house; people I don't want worrying about me; corrections to finish, and they're so nearly finished, it's nearly all done and then I can pat myself on the back and call myself Doctor. I have stuff to read, stuff to do for my game. And I think part of me still does care about all these things, but I still can't quite bring myself to get on with something. Not yet. Need to fight the apathy, build up a reserve of willpower and then go for it.

I'm sure it shouldn't be this hard.